949paintball's Top 10 Movies of 2013

Again, I know I kind of stopped reviewing my movies after a while. But that doesn't mean I forgot about the movies I watched! I still kept close tabs on the movies I watched, and now it's time to write my top 10!

Beware: Spoilers for various movies will be found ahead.

My top is:

1. The Place Beyond the Pines
2. The Wolf of Wall Street
3. About Time
4. Dallas Buyers Club
5. 12 Years a Slave
6. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
7. Rush
8. Don Jon
9. Disconnect
10. Frozen

Now you know what movies might be spoiled. So I now invite you to read why I picked each of these movies! 

Most other people start at the end of the list, to save the best for last and everything. But not me. I'm starting right at number and going down!

Anyway, I picked The Place Beyond the Pines as my number one movie of 2013. If you've talked to me this past year, you probably would know that I loved the movie. It ending up on my top ten list was simply inevitable. And, really, if you've seen the movie too, you know why I loved it so much.

So, wait, why do I love it so much, you ask? Well, for starters I get massive hard-on for Ryan Gosling and Bradley Cooper (as much as a heterosexual man can like another man). I had been excited for this movie since before it even had a name! Right now would be where I ask you to stop reading, if you haven't seen the movie. Go watch the movie, then you can continue reading. See you in about three hours!

Okay, you good? You've seen it now? Good.

When Cooper and Gosling's characters meet for the first, and, well I guess only time, emotions just you. Anger; "What the fuck?! They killed the main character?!" Sadness; "What the fuck?! They killed the main character?!" Confusion; "Wait, what's going to happen now? Isn't, wasn't, he the main character?". And yes, I know movies can have more than 'main' character. And yes, I know that the main character can die. But I wasn't, and I really don't think anyone was, expecting the death to come so soon! If you were trying to guess what came next in the movie, that one scene just shattered any perception you had. And then the movie goes on to corruption in the police force!

The Place Beyond the Pines, if anything else, was a bargain deal! You're basically getting three movies all jam-packed into one! And each just as good as the last! Well, actually the final segment could have been improved, but it was still an amazing segment.

If you haven't seen the movie, which with all of my warnings I am dissapointed that you're still reading this article, I implore you to watch it! Also, I'm sorry for ruining the most intense part. :/

Number two on my list is The Wolf of Wall Street. I know this movie is getting a lot of attention lately, but it deserves the attention. I shouldn't have to say this, but don't let your children watch this movie. Well, unless your children are old enough to be considered an adult. This movie will expose your children to every word you don't want them saying at school, inform them of every drug that was consumed by humans in the '80s and '90s, and finally will teach them just how many sexual positions actually exist. This movie is not for kids.

But, since I'm an ADULT, I get to watch it! And I loved it!

Leonardo DiCaprio is definitely a versatile actor, it's hard to argue that he isn't! Everyone else attached to the movie are just as good! Did you know that this movie was over three hours? Because I didn't! I thought my watch was broken when it showed me the time after the movie! "There is no way this movie was more than 90 minutes. No. Way." But, by golly, it was! All of the sex and drugs in this movie really entertained me (oh, and I guess the plot was good too), and that is the main reason why this movie made the list. There was no time in the movie where I was bored, hell, I didn't even check the time during the movie!

I expect this movie to get some Oscar nominations, and with luck; Leo could finally have his time. But probably not.

Up next is About Time! Yup, you're reading that right! About Time. For those that don't know about this movie, it's about a family in which the men can travel through time. Tim, our main character on the right side of the above poster, decides he will use his power for love. I know what you're thinking; "Hasn't this been done before?" And the answer is, well probably. But I haven't seen anything like it, so the creativity of this movie is what earns it's spot on the list!

Well, it was more than just creativity, I guess. The thing I loved more than anything else in this movie is that at no point does Tim tell Mary about his power. Also, did you know that love is more than just something people who are dating/married share? Tim only uses his powers for love, but that doesn't just mean 'getting the girl' either! No, Tim does a great many things to help others that he loves too. How did he first learn about how easily things can change? From helping his friend with the play! How did he learn that he could literally lose his child by going back in time to before the child is born? By trying to protect his sister. His initial plan to use his powers for love never falter, but love comes in many different forms!

"Jesus Christ, you've got to be kidding me... that movie poster looks like those weird books my grandma always used to read!" Yeah, I know. And it's great to hear that my grandma isn't the only one who reads those books!

Anyway, for those that didn't hear about this movie, Dallas Buyers Club follows the life of bigoted homophobe, Ron Woodroof. Why is it significant that Ron is a homophobe, you may be asking? Well, this movie takes place in the '80s, around the time that AIDS was initially discovered. Still confused? Way back when, and I guess still today, people attributed HIV to homosexuality. You can imagine Ron's shock when he discovered he is dying of AIDS!

Anyway, back to the movie. Many people were turned off from this movie simply because Matthew McConaughey was at the helm. I mean, seriously, the guy that did Ghosts of Girlfriends Past can actually make good movies? And, the answer to that question is; yes. If 2013 taught us anything, it's that Matthew McConaughey actually can act! With Mud and Dallas Buyers Club alone, he was put onto my radar.

The progression that Ron makes in this movie is heartwarming. In the opening scene we are shown what kind of guy Ron is, and all of the hurtful things he has to say about people (ironically calling a celebrity a "faggot" after it is announced that he has HIV). Flash forward to him getting the news about his fate. He is given 30 days to live. What do you think he does? Well, I'm not going to say what he does. You'll have to watch the movie. But he eventually finds and distributes drugs to help keep the virus in remission. Him being around primarily homosexual men, he slowly becomes more tolerant of everyone's life choices.

Now, I didn't know what I was going to be getting into when I went to see 12 Years a Slave. I knew it was about a free black man who was sold into slavery, and the hardships he endured. But damn. Never before had I been so utterly disgusted, intrigued, and sad at the same time. Before seeing this movie, you need to know - this movie can, and probably will, take a toll on your physche.

You watch a man go from being a free man, to a man who is stripped of any power he once had. Watching him progress from wanting to fight with his slavers, to becoming a slave was almost hard to take. The gruesome whipping at the end is almost enough to put a man to tears! 

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty is my pick for number 6. This movie kind of seems like a love-it-or-hate-it movie, to me, so I wouldn't be surprised if you disagree with me. So why did I add it to the list?

Well, for starters. The advertising team did a great job getting me interested! I really wanted to know which scenes were real and which weren't (I will try to avoid spoiling too much). On top of that, I really wanted to know the fate of TIME Magazine, and the missing negative.

Flash-forward to watching it. Instantly I fell in love with the visuals. I usually hate movies that try to blend the text into a background, making it look like it's 'part' of the street, billboard, desk, etc.. But it really worked for this movie. Everything looked beautiful. And the story was captivating from start to finish! One of Ben Stiller's first roles in a long time to feature an actually good plot, come to think of it! 

Alright, now I'm just surprised as you are to be adding Rush, a movie about Formula 1 racing, onto my top 10 list. I'm not going to lie you guys, I really don't like watching racing of any kind. I don't care if it's a Nascar race, a Formula 1 race, a horse race, or a turtle race. I will not be watching it.

So why, then, was I so interested in seeing Rush? I don't know if it was the big names attached, or the beautiful trailers, but I bought my ticket to the opening nights showing. And by God, that film was beautiful! The epic rivalry between Niki Lauda and James Hunt was played perfectly by Daniel Brühl and Chris Hemsworth.

The fact that this film didn't follow one particular reason made for a much more entertaining movie. What I mean by that is, it followed both characters equally, making real bias towards either. During the movie, you will be flip-flopping which character you like more. They're both dicks, and they're both great human beings at the same time. Just like everyone else. And this movie shows that.

In at number 8 is the ever brilliant Don Jon! You might be thinking that it's weird that someone would be putting two romantic comedies onto their top ten list, but when you think about these movies I've added, you will understand what I'm getting at. About Time (which I put in at spot #3) has bits of comedy and romance, but I wouldn't classify it as a romantic comedy. And the same can be said about Don Jon.

Don Jon marks Joseph Gordon-Levitt's directional debut, and all I can say is that I can't wait for more! In this movie, we get kind of an anti-rom-com. What do I mean by that? I mean that JGL takes elements from your average romantic comedy, and shows which are 'real' and which aren't. He takes two characters, Jon and Barbara. Jon likes his porn and Barbara likes her romance movies, no big deal, right? Not-so-right. Since both of these characters invest so much time with their respective mediums, they get unnatural expectations for love.

So, this movie is made for those people who also have unnatural expectations of love, and that's why it's on my list.

Disconnect is the only move on my Top Ten list that I did not see in theaters. And honestly, if I hadn't seen it show up on the new releases of the Target shelf that one day, I never would have even heard about it! I was meant to watch this movie.

Anyway. Disconnect has three main stories; one about cyber-bullying, one about identity theft, and the last is about webcam websites and child pornography. These three issues all have huge significance to anyone who uses the internet (which, by the way, is a lot of people). To many, this film could be eye-opening. Don't think cyber-bullying is bad? Check out this very real scenario. Don't think you're identity will be stolen? Check to see just how easily someone can steal your identity!

These stories all captivate the viewer, and the the resolution to each story really makes the films message that much stronger. 

And for my final act movie, Frozen! Yes. You read that right, Disney's Frozen. This is the Disney I've been waiting ~10 years for! Disney is back in their groove, and I won't miss a single Disney movie from here on out.

If you're one of those people that avoided seeing Frozen because of that weird teaser trailer they released a few months back, stop avoiding it! This movie boldly takes the Disney 'formula' and brings the magic back. How they handled the 'true loves test' thing was beyond amazing. The soundtrack was superb (it's all I've been listening to these past few weeks, so I know what I'm talking about).

I have never had any problems with Disney, so I can't really say that this movie surprised me... but this movie was kind of a surprise for me. I knew literally nothing about this movie prior to watching it. I was kind of expecting it to be nothing more than 'just another kids movie'. Nope. This is so much more than that! I don't think it matters if you're a man, woman, or child, I truly think this movie is everyone. And that is rare for an animated feature.

Agree/disagree with list? Leave your favorite movies of 2013 in the comments!